The Very Same Munchhausen. Quotes

"The Very Same Munchhausen" is perhaps Grigory Gorin's most quoted work. Cover image source - Zen. 

Article editor - Mark Beygelzimer, PhD, systems analyst, head of the Trust but Verify project.

Short story

Baron Karl Munchhausen, known for his free-thinking and fantasies, lives in his castle with his beloved Martha. They want to marry, but this is prevented by Munchhausen's wife, Jacobine, whose marriage was not for love in her distant youth. The local duke gives permission for a divorce. But everything spoils Munchhausen himself, who signs the documents with the date "May 32" - a new day, which he discovered according to his calculations. The Baron is sure that people will be happy about the extra day. But those around him do not understand him, and believe that in this way the Baron is defying public order. Amid the scandal, the court refuses to approve the divorce.

Martha, tired of uncertainty, gives the Baron an ultimatum: either he signs a renunciation of his beliefs and becomes "like everyone else", or she leaves him. Munchhausen gives in and signs a renunciation of himself. After that, everyone considers him dead.

Three years pass. The Baron is remembered with great respect and spoken of as a genius misunderstood by society. On May 32, the anniversary of the Baron's death, a monument to him is unveiled.

Soon Thomas, the Baron's loyal servant, discovers that his master is alive. All this time he has been hiding in the guise of the florist Müller. This allowed him to marry Martha, but she, tired of boredom and routine, left him. The Baron realizes that he can only get her back if he becomes the same old Munchhausen again, not like the others.

But it turns out that despite the cult of Munchhausen reigning in the town, nobody wants him back from the dead except Martha and Thomas. The burgomaster, a former friend of the Baron, declares him an impostor and sends him to prison until his identity is clarified. At the trial, no one recognizes Munchhausen. Even Martha is forced to perjure herself because of a threat to kill the Baron, now for real.

Abandoned by everyone, Munchhausen demands that he be given the opportunity to prove to everyone that he is him. To do so, he is ready to repeat the flight on a cannonball to the moon.

Quotes

(The text of the quotes is recorded from the video version of the film "That Very Munchausen", script writer Grigory Gorin, director Mark Zakharov, Mosfilm studio, USSR, 1979. Translation of the quotes into English was made by the editor of the article)

Hunter: You claim that a man can lift himself up by his hair?
Munchhausen: Absolutely. A thinking man just has to do it from time to time!

 
Munchhausen: All love is legitimate if it is love.

 
Munchausen: I was told: a clever man.
Martha: Well, what kind of crap do people talk about?

 
Commander-in-Chief: First there were celebrations. Then arrests. Then we decided to combine them.

 
Munchhausen: You can't offend with the truth.

 
Munchhausen: Thomas, are you satisfied that we have May 32?
Thomas: Actually, not so much, Mr. Baron. The first of June is the first day I get paid my wages.
Munchhausen: ... You don't understand...

 
Martha: Be like everyone else, Carl! I beg you!
Munchhausen: Like everyone else? What are you saying? Like everyone else... Like everyone else... Like everyone else... Don't fly on nuclei, don't hunt mammoths, don't correspond with Shakespeare....

 
Duke: Look at all this with your usual humor... Humor! After all, Galileo also denied it.
Munchhausen: That's why I've always liked Giordano Bruno better....

 
Burgomaster: Don't make it difficult, Baron... In secret you can believe.
Munchhausen: I can't believe in secret. I can only openly.

 
Munchhausen: I wasn't afraid to be funny. Not everyone can afford that.

 
Munchhausen: My funeral alone has given me more than my entire previous life.

 
Thomas: They say humor is good for you. A joke, they say, prolongs life.
Munchhausen: Not for everyone. For those who laugh, it prolongs it, but for those who joke, it shortens it.

 
Munchhausen: A boy. Born.
Thomas: Well! Is he a good boy?
Munchhausen: Twelve kilos.
Thomas: Does he run?
Munchhausen: Why? Walks.
Thomas: Talks?
Munchhausen: Silent.
Thomas: Smart boy, he'll go far.

 
Jacobina: There is no such thing as truth at all. Truth is what is considered to be true at the moment.

 
Martha: Do you have to kill someone to know they're alive?!

 
Pastor: Well, let's confess.
Munchhausen: I've been doing it all my life. But no one ever believed me.
Pastor: Please ease your soul.
Munchhausen: It happened all by itself, Pastor. I had a friend - he betrayed me. I had a sweetheart, she disowned me. I'm leaving on my own.

 
Munchhausen: I see your trouble. You're too serious. A smart face is not a sign of intelligence, gentlemen. All foolish things on earth are done with that expression. Smile, gentlemen! Smile.

 
Munchhausen: Well, say something goodbye!
Martha: Say what?
Munchhausen: Think. There's always something important for a moment like this.
Martha: I'll... I'll be waiting for you!
Munchhausen: Not that!
Martha: I... I love you very much!
Munchhausen: Not that!
Martha: I'll be faithful to you!
Munchhausen: Don't!
Martha: They've put in raw powder, Karl! They want to stop you, Karl!
Munchhausen: Exactly!!! Thank you, Martha.

 
Munchhausen: When I return, let it be six o'clock.
Thomas: Six in the evening or six in the morning?
Munchhausen: Six in the afternoon.

Editor's Comment

What is love? To appreciate that your chosen one is near and not like the others, or to send him together with a rabid crowd to "feats" in a neighboring country?
What is a feat? To fight in a foreign country against common sense, or to defend one's beliefs in one's own country, testing fate every time?
What is fate? To return to the souls of people... At six o'clock in the afternoon.

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